|
|
| *Health issues>>>Mental Health issues |
Anyone actually diagnosed with Co-Dependency? |
Issue I have recently been told by my psychologist that I have a serious Co-Dependency problem and he thinks I should go to CoDA... its like AA for Co-Dependents. This is the first time someone has given me and actual answer and a reason for the way that i feel all the time and reasons for why i do the things i do and explained it to me, it was sad to hear and know what he was talking about. I am nervous about it and don't really know what to think... Best Tip CO-DEPENDENCY IS REAL, AND SO MANY PEOPLE DON'T KNOW HOW CO-DEPENDANT THEY ARE. IT BASICALLY BOILS DOWN TO BEING ADDICTED TO TOXIC PEOPLE. YOU ARE FEELING ASHAMED BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE ADMITTING TO THIS. DON'T BE ASHAMED, YOU JUST DODN'T KNOW ANY BETTER. NOW YOU DO. CHOOSE TO ADMIT TO THE PROBLEM. THAT IS THE FIRST STEP TO OVERCOMING IT. ALL PROBLEMS ARE OPPORTUNITIES IN DISGUISE. THE ARE CHALLENGES TO 1-PVERCOME SOMETHING, 2-LEARN SOMETHING, AND 3-IMPROVE SOMETHING. MISTAKES ARE MERELY WAYS TO LEARN WHAT DOESN'T WORK. THEY DO NOT DETRACT FROM YOUR QUALITY AS AN INDIVIDUAL. THEY GIVE YOU WISDOM. THE DEFINITION IF INSANITY IS TO REPEATEDLY TRY TO DO SOMETHING THE SAME WAY, EXPECTING A DIFFERENT RESULT EACH TIME. THIS IS WHEN YOU REFUSE TO ADMIT YOUR METHOD IS FLAWED. DON'T DO THIS. LISTEN TO YOUR COULSELLOR. THEY ARE THERE TO HELP YOU DISCOVER NEW AND DIFFERENT COPING SKILLS. DON'T FAULT YOURSELF FOR NOT KNOWING A BETTER WAY TO COPE WITH LIFE. JUST FAULT YOURSELF IF YOU KEEP REPEATING THE PATTERN, EVEN WHEN YOU KNOW ABOUT IT. THIS ALL TAKES A GREAT DEAL OF COURAGE AND I HAVE A LOT OF RESPECT FOR YOU. LISTEN TO OTHERS WITH SIMILAR ISSUES. YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE, AND CERTAINLY THERE ARE OTHERS WHO HAVE IT WORSE THAN YOU. SELF ESTEEM IN BULT BY YOU, AND YOU ALONE. YOU CAN'T EVER RELY ON SOMEONE ELSE FOR THAT. NO ONE WANTS THE JOB, ANYWAY. SELF ESTEEM IS BUILT BY YOU, THROUGH MAKING ACCOMPLISHMENTS. MASTERING A SKILL OR TALENT IS ONE WAY TO DO IT. GETTING GOOD AT SOMETHING OR OTHER. LEARNING SOMETHING NEW. MEETING A CHALLENGE AND RISING TO THE OCCASION ARE OTHERS. IT'S ALL ON YOU. SCARY, HUH? PEOPLE DO THE BEST THEY CAN WITH WHAT THEY KNOW. WHEN PEOPLE BECOME CO-DEPENDANT, IT IS BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW HOW NOT TO BE. LEARN HOW NOT TO BE, AND YOU WILL BE FINE. Others co dependents are enablers Hi Katie, it must be very tough living with this. Co-dependency is actually when you cant separate yourself and be a true individual. Below is the Wikipedia write up it is pretty good. Good luck Codependence (or codependency) is a popular psychology concept popularized by Twelve-Step program advocates. A "codependent" is loosely defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for other people. Symptoms Codependency advocates claim a codependent may try to change, or feel shame about, their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with those of another person. A classic example would be a wife making excuses for a husband's excessive drinking and perhaps running interference for him by calling in sick for him when he is hung over. Such behaviors, which may well lessen conflict and ease tension within the family in the short term, are counterproductive in the long term, since, in this case, the wife is actually supporting ("enabling") the husband's drinking behavior to continue. So, sometimes, the "co-dependent" (on alcohol, in this case) is sometimes referred to as an "enabler." It is also worth noting that since the wife in this case is dependent on the husband's alcoholic behavior, she may actually feel disturbed, disoriented or threatened if she sees clearly that he is emerging from his dependence. If she were to feel those feelings, her position as a confidant and loved-one might enable her to exert pressure to "change back," i.e., for the husband to cease making progress away from alcoholic dependency. Such pressure might be real and at least partially effective without it being fully recognized by either the husband or the wife. Codependence can also be a set of maladaptive, compulsive behaviors learned by family members in order to survive in a family which is experiencing great emotional pain and stress caused, for example, by a family member's alcoholism or other addiction, sexual or other abuse within the family, a family members' chronic illness, or forces external to the family, such as poverty. Codependent people have a greater tendency to become involved in past relationships bringing into new relationships with people who are unreliable, emotionally unavailable, or needy. Codependents try to control a relationship without directly identifying and addressing their own needs or desires on their own. This invariably means that they set themselves up for continued unfulfillment. Codependents always feel that they are acting in another person's best interest, making it difficult for them to see the controlling nature of their own behavior. Symptoms of codependence are controlling behavior, distrust, perfectionism, avoidance of feelings, intimacy problems, caretaking behavior, hypervigilance or physical illness related to stress. Codependence is often accompanied by depression, as the codependent person succumbs to feelings of extreme frustration or sadness over his or her inability to make changes in the other person's (or persons') life. [edit] Treatment Individuals who are suffering from codependence may seek assistance through various verbal therapies, sometimes accompanied by chemical therapy for accompanying depression. In addition, there exist support groups for codependency; some of these are Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA) and Al-Anon/Alateen, and Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACoA), which are based on the 12-Step model of Alcoholics Anonymous. Many books have been written on the subject of codependence. Melody Beattie was one of the first to describe such behaviors. She is the author of Codependent No More among many other volumes. [edit] Controversy Not all mental health professionals agree about codependence or its standard methods of treatment. It is not listed in the DSM-IV-TR diagnostic manual. Stan Katz & Liu, in "The Codependency Conspiracy: How to Break the Recovery Habit and Take Charge of Your Life," feel that codependence is over-diagnosed, and that many people who could be helped with shorter-term treatments instead become dependent on long-term self-help programs. [edit] References 'A Brief History of Codependence and a Look at the Psychological Literature', in: P. Mellody e.a., Facing Codependence, New York etc.: HarperSanFrancisco, 1989, ISBN 0-06-250589-0, 207-217 (= Appendix). 'Cluster C Personality Disorders', in: Diagnostical and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM-IV, Washington: American Psychiatric Association, 4th ed. 1994, ISBN 0-89042-062-9, 662-673. 'Codependence', in: Benjamin J. Sadock & Virginia A. Sadock (eds), Kaplan & Sadock's Comprehensive Textbook of Psychiatry on CD, Philadelphia: Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, 7th ed. 2000, ISBN 0-7817-2141-5, 20703-20707. Co-Dependents Anonymous, Phoenix: Co-Dependents Anonymous, 1st ed. 1999, ISBN 0-9647105-0-1, 3-6. [edit] See also Dependent personality disorder Karpman's Drama Triangle Codeps The Codependency Conspiracy : How to Break The Recovery Habit and Take Charge of Your Life Stan Katz, Phd, (1991) Warner Books ISBN 0-446-39377-0 |
www.health-mediainfo.net health issues and health tips For personal non-commercial use only. All rights reserved. |