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| *Health issues>>>Mental Health issues |
I need help with some "love" advice. Long story.? |
Issue First off I used to date this woman for 3 years or so and we got to the point we hated each other and would fight constantly. Well eventually it lead to her being unfaithful(don't blame her totally it's half my fault). Anyway got back together and we had a child together. I lost my license so I can't drive and she totalled her car so she doesn't have one(live separatly also about 20 miles away). I didn't put my best effort into being a father(should have saw my kid more)and the last 2-3 weeks I have been thinking about both of them a lot and was debating about them moving in with me. We used to talk everyday but not recently. This is when I thought about both of them more.Well I called the woman and we talked and I asked her how are things. Well she lied and I knew it so then she comes out and states she has a new boyfriend - Ironic 3 weeks ago. Well we hated each other but she was making hints about "us" for like 2 months but I pushed her away for so long she found someone else. Best Tip just tell her..and let HER decide what to do. let her know u respect her decision..it's not like ur forcing or stealing her away from that man, you are telling her how YOu feel and allowing her to choose one way or another. but u have to Respect her decision, and so does she. she can't keep u around while still with her current boyfriend. so be strong, and ready for the worst, but hoping for the best (u getting back together, trying again, and to be the best dad and husband u can be). remember, no matter how much u mess up yesterday, u can always change things tomorrow. u know?? :) have faith in that, and rejoice in that. even if u are not christian (which i am, and recently learned Romans 5-8 in which i feel so much Freedom from understanding that passage)..u can still make changes in your life to Always seek what is Good, Positive, Healthy, AND Happy in your life, and not punish yourself for the past mistakes. life goes on, and i'ts your choice to push forward and seek what is Awesome and Wonderful, or to wallow around in sadness and depression. however, u don't sound like that type to me, in fact it is wonderful that u understand that she may be happy with this other guy, and u are not angry! and u are admitting that u have also made mistakes. that is awesome! so now the next step is to work on YOU, make sure u are the best Person, Father, Boyfriend, eventually Husband....and that will make you a Great Addition to Any relationship..... so do that for yourself, and for your partner, hopefully the mother of your children. :) u can make changes to your life, u just have to try, and keep positive, healthy things around you. take care, and good luck! Others just tell her..... its as easy as that if she says no atleast you will feel better about finally telling her the truth Walk away. Good grief. Just get her address and send the child support payments. Then ask her for visitation. If she won't let you see your child (are you sure it's your child???) then get a lawyer and take her to court. Otherwise, do not move in with her or have any other relationship. You don't have to let her move in to see your child. You need to tell her how you feel. If you don't you may regret it. She won't know unless you say something to her. Good Luck If you can't keep a license, you need to stay out of her life. If it was drugs or drinking, get sober. I feel that any relationship with this much drama was just not destined to be. I know you love her, and your child, but just stop and try to think about what all this drama is going to do to your child. If you want to try to be friends, thats cool...let her be happy with whoever she is with. If you want to see your kid, you have every right to do so, as long as you are helping support your child. Ask her for that. Talk to her and see if you can work out some kind of arrangement. Try to be mature adults about it. Start paying child support if you are not already...that helps alot and it shows her you are trying to be a part of your child's life. Realize, most importantly, that hate each other or love each other, you have a child together and you are linked to one another for at least 18 years, so make the best of it. Good luck |
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