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| *Health issues>>>Mental Health issues |
Why do I have such a hard time supporting my BF, who is grieving the potential loss of his dog? |
Issue I feel very guilty. His dog, who is 14, is very ill. My BF is getting him all sorts of test, transfusions, and maybe even surgery. I am concerned about him, the dog, etc. We have been spening much less time together, and I hate it. Isn't that terrible? I wish he could let the dog go....he is prolonging the agony. But that is not my business, and he has the right to do it however he chooses. I miss him.... His moods are hard to handle. He is alternately sweet, worried that he is going to lose me over this, then snaps at me.....I feel so low right now. I am a recovering alcoholic, and I don't do feelings well..... When someone is in extreme pain, I want to get away. Best Tip Go to an AA meeting! At least call your sponsor. Your BF will be ok he has to grieve at his own pace. You need a meeting. Others I PRAYED a PRAYER 4 both of you to day. huggs+ kisses + love star Try to seek another friend or sister or a member of your family. Tell them about your situation and try to be open about your feelings. Seek their advice while they may also suggest ways to help you with the grieving BF Try to be there with him when he goes to the vet. All you can do is be absolutly 100% supportive. Let him know your there for him, try to help in ANY way you can. It will be appreciated after all is said and done (if his pup lives or dies). He will remember it. I helped my fiance when his dog got pyometra (not as serious but could have killed her). I did everything (contacted the vet, set the apointments) to let him worry and work. I went with him to the vets to drop her off and pick her up (took time off work even!). He really appreaciated it. He too was moody and cranky untill she was ok. He still thanks me for it (this happened in June). You love him, so let him know more than ever. First of all it's HIS dog no wonder you might feel less attached to the situation. People greive differently, he's losing something he loves and holds dear to him. If you can't be sympethetic and patient, give him alittle space but remain supportive. If he's worried about losing you over this there is probably more to it. Recovering alcoholic? Go to a meeting and throw it out, see what feed back you get. Live and let live. I hate to say this, but your bf is trying to stop the inevitable. He probably needs to exhaust every means possible avoiding the dog's death to keep himself from feeling guilty. Give him space during this time and be there for him if he needs you. As a dog lover and a man, I know we can get very attached to a dog, especially after 14 years. He is experiencing the potential loss of a family memeber, emotions will be high. Don't take it personally and don't let it push you back in the bottle. Grief and loss kick up all sorts of emotions. It doesn't matter if you are watching a person die or a pet, it still cuts through to the soul. Anger, anxiety, guilt, sorrow, dispair- all these things are normal with impending loss, and with loss. But as you try to be there for him, you also need to be there for yourself. You are in recovery, do you have a support group? Go to it. Also, call your local vets and ask if there is a pet loss grief group in your area, they are for not only people who's pets have died, but people who are facing loss as well. If you can, hang in there. This is a sad, and hard part of lilfe, and hisloss when it comes may bring both relief and make parts of this worse, but if you care for each other, you can get through this. Give him the space to grieve and be with his dog, and take care of yourself. |
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